1. |
den
03:23
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I cannot stay hidden like this. My den locks me from the inside.
I cannot stay hidden like this. My den locks me from the inside. The window shades all painted black. The colors are outside, I know.
I’m high on cancelled plans - instant relief. I’m separating everyone from me. I know – I’m abusing a home. You cannot become everything you want.
Nostalgia is a prison, don’t bust me out. I bite off less than I could chew. Don’t make a sound, but notice it somehow. Silence is as comforting as false.
I cannot stay hidden like this. My den locks me from the inside. The window shades all painted black. The colors are outside, I know.
I am afraid to let you in. Can’t bear seeing you outside. I will break my window, leave for the first time.
For the first time.
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2. |
cop-out
03:03
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You’re like locked in a gilded cage, in a castle made of scrap, the escape key right in your hands.
I can’t understand that you won’t let your guard down. And I can’t understand why you won’t make your days count.
All this shit round here – it’s not your fault. (you won’t let your guard down) Too many mazy reasons in your beautiful mind, to tie up your loose ends!
I can’t understand that you would end up here with me.
All this shit round here – it’s not your fault. (you won’t let your guard down) Too many mazy reasons in your beautiful mind, to tie up your loose ends!
Every day I feel the same, a sudden but still illusory joy. But even if I’m tricked – as I always am, I will come back, there will be nothing to say, and I’m okay.
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3. |
owlless
03:40
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Excess then dragged down - how can one go on like this? Awake for so long. A flight through the unknown, as routines paint life colorless. At least I’m back home…
Where's the shortcut to the top? The cutoff that yells stop? Can't ever seem to spot it.
Still I carry on through the nights. One more bottle done, and a pointless fight. The mirror waits - I turned pro in lying to myself.
Excess then dragged down - how can one go on like this? Awake for so long. A flight through the unknown, as routines paint life colorless. At least I’m back home…
There’s no shortcut and no top, no cutoff boy, just stop. Pull this off owlless!
On my own through the nights. On my own in pointless fights. The mirror waits but no more need for lying to myself.
Excess then dragged down - how can one go on like this? Awake for so long. A flight through the unknown, as routines paint life colorless. At least I’m back home…
How can one go on like this?
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4. |
phase
03:07
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I am red in the face from all the stress it takes to accelerate my blood. I am blue in the face. Cause every step that I take, and every move I make, I am still watching me!
Watching me!
Shaking, sweaty palms, and a clenching cramp deep in my chest. Always nervous. A secret that better stays better kept.
A secret that better stays kept!
Saving money every month, to keep me alive when I shut down. This is what I’ve prepared to become, completely undone.
I am green in the face. Morning sickness. Awake, never awake. I am white in the face, as I frown upon all that could have been, and what lies ahead of me, still believing that…
One day I’ll continue to live. I’ll come back to what I’ve left. I can still change me, cause this is only a phase! I can still change me, cause this is just a phase!
This is only a phase!
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5. |
a paradigm
03:50
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Our world’s been discovered. Do I want another and risk everything I’ve got to start a new life? I grab everything I can, leave it all behind.
Let’s find another. Fresh grounds to discover. A groundwork to construct a new life. A chance to leave behind this dreary time.
Too much ground to cover just for a new lover. Who tells me that she needs to escape her life. Too easy to see through with blindfolded eyes.
Can this be the resolution, when no one else takes notice? Exploit this rotten institution! Do you take notice?
How I’d like you to uncover, what it’s like to be one of the others, who not constantly aim for approval, and not only care for this system so deprived of compassion. why the hell would you want me to join you on this mission?
Just too much ground to uncover only for the next lover! Who tells me that she needs to escape her life, too easy to see through with blindfolded eyes.
Can this be the resolution, when no one else takes notice? Exploit this rotten institution! Please take notice! Please take notice!
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The Mourning Post Köln, Germany
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